I would not push for that."If I had a vagina I would love for you to fuck me," she said. I neverliked the word. It was too male. But I never doubted that wanted togive herself to me.We lived together, we worked together, we had sex as often as we like,and we spent as much time as possible in one another's arms. It was theperfect life, while it lasted.Then we got a new president and she was to be deported. You can imagineher horror. Not only would she be losing me, but arriving inAfghanistan with a body like hers, what chance did she have.It seemed like the only answer was marriage. If I could marry her thenshe could get residence."We could marry as a man and a woman," she said.It was true, but I could not face that. It seemed to me to be wrong onso many levels."I could only marry you as a woman," I said. It could be done. In ourstate same sex marriage was legal, and post-operative transwomen couldbe registered as women. But it meant that surgery would be required.I. "We nodded in assent, although I could tell there was some murmuring andunease around the table about where this was leading. "Silence!" Isaid. "Wahid, please continue." I stared daggers around the table."And who among us has the courage, the strength, the ability to act asand become this woman?"I looked around the table - everyone was looking at me for some reason. A voice to my left said "Mahdi" Then the whole table cried out "Mahdi."I was flattered by their belief in my courage and strength. Many menhad sacrificed themselves for greater causes than this - I would becomea great martyr, one who generations of children would worship!Wahid looked at me, his face the picture of kindness and concern. "Ithink everyone here believes that you are the only one who could becomethis great warrior inside a woman, Mahdi. What say you, my brother? Doyou have the courage?" I have great courage, and I will do whatever you wish me to do. But Icannot understand why you will not allow to.
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